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I heard today that Santa Claus' operations have recently gone through some major environmental overhauls. Is that true?
 It's absolutely true —
and the change is coming not a minute too soon. Amid growing concerns
of global warming, Mr. Claus is well on his way to creating an Earth-friendly,
zero emissions workshop.
As you probably know, the entire Santa base of operations is located in the North Pole. Well, the North Pole is basically just a part of the frozen Artic Sea. The huge chunks of ice that have melted and dropped into the ocean in that region have been a major point of distress. Mr. Claus claims no interest in moving his work to the equator, poignantly stating, "Just imagine having to take care of reindeer in that heat, especially with this belly like a bowl full of jelly. And what am I going to wear? Shorts and sandals? Hardly."
The Santa workshop is now warmed using a geothermal heat pump, one of the most efficient heating systems available in the area. Mr. Claus had wanted to use solar energy exclusively, but since the Artic gets very little sunlight six months out of the year, that did not seem like an entirely viable option. Research is being done on constructing wind farms in the area, however.
Gifts delivered by Mr. Claus this year will be wrapped in recycled, 100% post-consumer content, soy ink printed wrapping paper. Naughty children will miss out on the traditional lumps of coal, and instead be presented with Brussels sprouts.
Mr. Claus is quick to point out that he is not a "Johnny come lately" to the world of environmentalism. His mode of transportation has been an extremely green choice "from the beginning." While perhaps not as sexy as jumbo jets and helicopters, flying reindeer omit considerably less harmful emissions than any gasoline-powered options.
Santa Claus encourages all boys and girls, and everyone who still has a little childhood magic in them, to follow his lead and do whatever they can to conserve energy, reduce waste and prevent the emission of greenhouse gasses. "Remember," he says, "I see you when you're sleeping. I know when you're awake. I know if you've been bad or good, so be good for goodness sake. The Tooth Fairy and Easter Bunny are in on this, too, so seriously."
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